‬How do we make sense of happiness ?

Introduction

This is an important question for us all to understand because happiness can be seen as a measure of our actions aligning with our core values. It indicates whether we are treading the right path or whether it is necessary to correct our course. I find it crucial to ask ourselves these questions : When are we most happy ? Which activities lead to greater happiness ? Which choices would satisfy us in the long run ? Who are we happiest around ? Why does happiness exist ? How can we design a life to increase our chances of happiness ? I found many of the answers to these questions by reading “The Alchemy of Happiness” by Al-Ghazali (R.A).

Background

Happiness can be viewed as an emotional as well as a spiritual state (contentment/equanimity). A person can have wealth, power and fortune in this world and yet be ill at ease. Whereas a seemingly ‘unfortunate’ person can live a life full of joy, meaning and contentment. What makes each of us happy can vary immensely as each life is unique and unrepeatable. What a person can offer to the world through their contribution is special. The extent to which an individual uses these gifts and manifests divine attributes to benefit humanity can play a huge factor in personal satisfaction. It also means working to fulfil our life’s meaning by completing the challenges and missions that we are uniquely placed to tackle. We can seek to perfect ourselves as vehicles to manifest ideas and intuitions that come to. Choosing to undertake these missions virtuously and accepting them with grace, wisdom, love and courage can allow us to transform, tackle and thereby transcend any situation. Whereas resisting reality and clinging to our own idealised version of how things ought to be or turn out can drown us in misery. We can take pride in the fact that we overcame states such as sense desire, sloth, ill will, restlessness and doubt to achieve our aims. Thus, we can be happy with our past (if we acted virtuously), where we are now and where we’re heading.

Recognising Joy

As a benchmark of our effort, we can be happy when we put our best effort into an activity. We can then be pleased with our attempt, regardless of the outcome. The meaning we attach to an event, can also make a huge difference. This means that we are not tied to external circumstances as tightly when an outcome doesn’t turn out the way we idealise. To me, it means having such a firm anchor and trust in a higher power that a person is able to derive meaning from any situation no matter how painful or pleasurable. These are all opportunities to be thankful for the part a moment can play in our process of developing, purifying and drawing closer to God. There is also a concept of being happy ‘with’. Happiness can be related to how we relate to certain spheres of our life e.g finances, physique, relationships or our careers. Alternatively it can be understood as an energy within our body (e.g physically manifesting as a smile, warmth and relaxation). As an emotion it can be viewed as a temporary state which can come and go (like other cycles of nature). Seeking to prolong such states can be counter productive so happiness to me means watching and appreciating it like we would a bird in nature, without trying to grasp it, yet still appreciating it. Gratitude in being aware of and remembering our blessings plays a huge role in our moment to moment happiness. We can easily return to a sense of security, optimism, safety and abundance when we are sure that something higher than us cares, loves and looks out for us. As humans we can focus on the negative/threats in the environment whereas practising gratitude means we actively remind ourselves of the number of ways we are blessed, be it in health, faith or other resources. Being happy means celebrating daily wins, with what went well as well as acknowledging and affirming our accomplishments that resulted from the qualities and skills we have been endowed with.

Unification

A soul that is harmonious, unified and whole is more likely to return to peace and gladness. This means working to understand and reconcile our seemingly conflicting parts (each with their own unique wants and needs), without any part of ourselves rejected or granted supremacy. The whims and indulgence of our lower selves are well managed and our inner feedback mechanism is not operating from a place of harsh criticism. Our higher self can then operate from an integrated position and act according to divine principles and it’s true compass rather than exist in a state of discord and dissonance. This self-unity, acceptance and understanding also means we are more likely to to let go of blame, harsh judgement or ill will towards others. Once we connect with ourselves and hold ourselves in unconditional positive regard we can do the same with others. This flow of generosity, love and kindness plays a pivotal role in the happiness we wish for others as we wish for ourselves.

Connection

Connecting deeply with God, nature, humanity and our own selves is a key element of happiness for me. Knowing the Divine presence experientially means we can tap straight into the source of security, serenity and grace. Understanding nature means we can make more sense of our lives. Being in open spaces, experiencing awe and seeing the vastness of the earth and the universe helps us shift perspective from holding a narrow view of life. Tuning in to and immersing ourselves into the rhythms of nature also offers an avenue to bliss and contentment. Being able to connect to and relate with others through close bonds, friendship, laughter and shared experiences is immensely fulfilling. In contrast, entering periods of silence and solitude can also allow us to discover more about ourselves and get back in touch with our higher selves, to understand our selves more fully. This affirmed by the proverb ‘Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord’. Meditative tools thus let us experience rapture, intimacy and be inspired by exploring the depths of our soul.

Spheres of Happiness

Happiness can also be viewed through the spheres of intellect, heart, body and soul. Each experiences it’s own version joy. Intellectual joy can come through curiosity, participating in and appreciating art, literature, science, philosophy. Happiness for our heart can mean understanding what we feel as well as understanding how others experience reality. The more we purify, clarify and settle the heart, the greater the equanimity and happiness our heart can be in. Our body can be happy when we set and achieve goals through strength, power and stamina. Happiness for the soul means noticing the synchronicity of day to day miracles, being of service, seeing the humorous side of events, appreciating the sanctity of the present moment as well as learning the art of discernment to decide wisely.

Conclusion

Surah Al-Asr reminds us as the day starts to fade away, those that find happiness are the ones who lived in accordance with faith, knowing they contributed with their actions and embodied their values by prioritising well. They overcame challenges proactively and through perseverance and by keeping the end in mind whilst encouraging others to do the same. Thus, we can rest with the knowledge that we sent ahead goodness for ourselves (filling the metaphorical treasure chests) of the hereafter. We are then content with the efforts we made and the choices we made to get closer to God and ultimately thankful to God for giving us the guidance and grace to do so. Contemplating and reflecting on these questions has considerably enhanced my understanding of happiness. This process can enlighten us to understand not only ourselves but others. I would encourage others to ask themselves ‘What does happiness really mean to you ?’.